Measuring Love in Dog Years

It’s easy to be in love when you’re jet-setting around the world, at a new restaurant every other night, when everything is new — his smell, his interests, his friends, his family…when your bank accounts are flush and your biggest worry is what resort to escape to next. But the true test always comes when that first wave hits.

When a parent or grandparent passes, when a job is lost, when the money dips into the red, when going out to dinner is a luxury, when waking up in the morning is extraneous, and you wonder “if this too shall pass” was uttered by a lunatic or a wise older woman. If you feel a presence by your side, and your lover is still there, still loyal, still smitten, while you hash it out with your demons — then you truly have a shot.

Never shove your anxiety inside, don’t live a fake persona. It will come out eventually and that’s when your partner will be running for the nearest exit. Be honest, not completely, but aim for 90%. You only really grow together, when you can shovel away the crap together.

The time passes and before you know it —  it’s not your first, not your second or even your third — it’s your umpteenth holiday together. And what takes the place of the excitement of the “newness” is the fun of your own traditions.

On this snowy afternoon, if you’re content to be locked inside together, and there’s no scratch marks along his back, you’re on your way…

I mark our time together with the increasing candles on our puppy’s birthday cake. How do you mark yours?

Puppy Birthday Candles


Your Girlfriends’ Boyfriends

As we weave our way through our 20s and 30s, we watch as our girlfriends’ boyfriends become fiances, become husbands, become fathers, become real men. And sadly, some boyfriends become husbands, become ex-husbands, become the spawn of Satan.

The wagers we secretly cast among ourselves at each engagement party, at each wedding reception take light as the years pass.

We now know the real relationship begins when the honeymoon is over.  Some of the couples we deemed ‘least likely to make it’  have become the strongest and the happiest. All we can do is respect our friends’ decisions, hope they respect ours and be there. Be there when they’re blush and bursting with love and be there when they’re quietly staring out the window over our shoulders.  In the mean time, we will go out and celebrate and down the cocktails and hug and whisper, and smile, because for today, we are all exactly where we’re supposed to be.


Girlfriends Who Hate Movember!

Girlfriends, let’s band together and grab the razors in unison! No longer will we tolerate straggly hairs jutting from the faces of our men — unless it’s their eyebrows. Toe hair? Fine, we deal. Most of the time their feet are safely tucked inside their shoes or under the covers. Nose hair?  Yes, as long as they trim. Ear hair? Unavoidable after 60, sorry. But do we really need our men rocking the Chester Molester stache? I don’t care if it tickles!

Movember is for a good cause, they say. But I believe it’s really just a conspiracy to make our men look like 70s porn stars.

Who’s behind this hairy movement anyway? It’s not like us ladies stop shaving our armpits for breast cancer awareness month…but one more Movember and it’s coming!I will take a goatee any day, or even a little patch on the chin, but — PLEASE, shave those rabid strands above your lip away! We have plenty of food, you don’t need to save some for later.




The girlfriend who shaves her armpits…for now

PumpkinHead Meets Early Demise

Orange guts spewed all over the floor. Their slippery trail…led to this horrific scene. Oh, Mr. PumpkinHead, you met an early demise, Halloween isn’t until Thursday. This is the after-effect of watching American Horror Story and Mama — violence inflicted on a poor, innocent pumpkin at the hands of my boyfriend! I can only hope he’s gotten it out of his system. There isn’t a full moon tonight…is there?

Pumpkin Head